Today has been the most emotional day for me. 20 years ago today, my mother gave birth to my little brother. He was 3 months premature and weighed 2lbs. He was a bit chunky for his gestational age, but wasn't big enough or strong enough to live outside on his own. In 1989, they didn't have the technology they have now. He didn't get the steroids or medications that are available today for babies born severely premature. I thank God every single day for The March of Dimes. They're able to raise so much money to discover what we have today.. Every single penny donated goes to keeping babies alive. My dad did sneak me into the NICU and though I was a few days away from 5 years old, I remember that day like it was yesterday. He was tiny. He could fit in my dad's hands. I never got to do all the things a big sister is supposed to do with her little brother. I never got to teach him what dad taught me. No ball games to attend, no bullies to beat up, but I am a very different person because of that VERY brief meeting with him. I am thankful for every baby that The March of Dimes has helped save. That's one more baby that's gone home to their families where they belong.
My brother has been a very big part of my life in every single way. My oldest son was named after him. I have his initials tattooed on my back. He goes with me everywhere I go in my heart. I dream of him often. I hope that he's up there and he knows who I am. At the age of 5, he changed my life forever. I wanted him more than I wanted anything. Most 5 year old girls (in 1989) wanted ponies and New Kids on the Block posters.. I wanted a little brother. There was nothing I wouldn't of given to have brought him home with me, eventually. He was my birthday present. The only pictures I have of him, he was hooked to wires so thick.. So many of them. He was so dark. I don't know why. Maybe it was the medication they were giving him, maybe it was because he was so premature. I do not know. But it was scary to see.
Rest in peace Richard Justin. Sissy loves you, forever.
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